American Idol

By Richard Rushfield Hollywood will always remember where it was when it first heard the news that Saw 6 had underperformed at the box office. Yes, times, are tough. Sure, media is in freefall; but who imagined it would come to this? • Completing the Discovery's transition from quaint host of nature shows to extr...

By Richard Rushfield The show may or may not get higher ratings than the American Idol finale, but the subject of who will host and produce the 82nd Academy Awards telecast remains Hollywood's perennial obsession. Not to mention — three hours of people in tuxedoes getting trophies and making speeches?!? In th...

By Andrew Belonsky Pink's "Get This Party Started" accompanied Abdul's entrance and, considering the lyrics, — "I'm Coming Up" — makes us wonder whether Abdul was trying to intimate that Ellen has a big ego. Plus, "I'm coming up" sounds like "coming out," which could be a dig at Ellen's lesbian ways. Then, loo...

By Richard Rushfield • Nice Lives: Comedian though she is, Ellen has been the BFF to many an Idol contestant, having them all on her show and supporting each and every one. Likely, she has been thought of as one who will bring this caring concern to the cold-hearted panel.

By Andrew Belonsky Third, DeGeneres is funny, and not sad, pathetic funny like the oft-ridiculed Adbul. She's a comedienne and can actually make us laugh, something that doesn't intentionally happen that often when Simon, Randy or that other girl judge contestants. So, that's good.

By Richard Rushfield While at the LAT, Richard Rushfield became the world's foremost expert on the inner workings of American Idol. He's currently resting up before joining Gawker later this month, but he couldn't resist weighing in on why Paula Abdul quit.

By Richard Lawson It's great that he's out and unabashed about it. Well, at least unabashed about it now. And whether or not he was under contract from the Idol people to be tacit about his boning preferences, he still could have said something. But he didn't! Because, he didn't want to be like his lame gay Idol en...

By Richard Lawson You know what, Adam Lambert? Just can it with the coy shit. Everyone knows the American Idol second-placer is a big ol' homo from Fruitington Corners, but in every goddamn interview the lurching behemoth always says things like "keep speculating..." And I wish he'd just man up and step out.

By The Cajun Boy Last night millions of American Idol fans tuned in to watch the show's season finale. But you know who didn't?—-Clay Aiken, who basically trashed everything about Idol today on the subscription-only message board of his website, going so far as to say Adam Lambert made his ears bleed!

By Richard Lawson There's much hissing about American Idol's swandiving numbers—lowest finale ever! down 10% from last year, which was already low!—but in this modern world, it's really nothing to worry about. (Or, if you hate Idol, to get excited about). Idol is still winning where it counts.

By Richard Lawson And I guess there was a story! Adam and Kris. Kris and Adam. Two of the most stylized performers this show has seen, in one of its most stylized seasons. While contestants like Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds and Matt Sarver are the sort of forgettable karaoke detritus that has littered this show sin...

By Richard Lawson There were definitely some box-blowin', roof-rattlin' performances last night. But on the whole it all just felt a little... staid. And, heck, America agrees with me. Maybe it was that Nigel Lythgoe (or whoever chose their second songs) chose kind of uninterestingly. Or maybe it was that neith...

By Richard Lawson Have you ever had an angel burp on you? Ever felt the soothing hand of God as He gives you a purple nurple? If not, then you didn't watch American Idol last night. The joy—the sheer manic ecstasy and catharsis—of watching this listless megaship was this: Danny Gokey went home. Danny Gokey was:

By Richard Lawson Yes, I was away last week and didn't watch American Idol, but I suppose it was for the best. It spared me the horrible pain of seeing my beloved Allison tossed to the wolves and devoured, only a thin tuft of red hair remaining, floating in the air conditioner breeze of the auditorium like the en...

By Pareene The girls who inexplicably wanted to sleep with Hat Giraud switched their allegiances to Kris, God remained in the pocket for Gokey, and Adam—who we still suspect is not as popular as everyone seems to think!—had basically received the biggest blow job Idol producers can give a contesta...

By Pareene Richard is... dead, maybe? Richard is in heaven, with Barack Obama's mom and Danny Gokey's wife. Either that or France. Regardless, he did not watch American Idol last night. But we did! Tonight! Allison probably goes home and we probably stop watching this fucking show FOR GOOD.

By Richard Lawson But, anyway. There was another dumb live performance by the kids and another regrettable Ford ad, and then it was time for the glittery bullshit of eliminating someone. Seacrest did his usual flimflammery: "You, go stand over in that corner under the blue light. You put one leg up like a flami...

By Richard Lawson Dear me, Kris Allen. He sang "The Way You Look Tonight" and, sorry y'all, but it had just been good. Perfect song choice to arouse the squealing laydays, perfect suit, perfect sideways triangle mouth anime smile. The criticism was just and slobbery, until Simon did a bit of course correction...

By Richard Lawson No, I'm just kidding. It mostly had to do with the fact that Lil Rounds was, in fact, not a terribly gifted singer and that Anoop Desai is a cute little North/South college a cappella nerd, but a pop career that description rarely makes. I'd say that Anoop had a great run, a fantastic run, as good...

By Richard Lawson You Stink The Life of Lilian Rounds: Over. As is Matt Giraud's. Or! Perhaps! Was Danny Gokey shitacular enough to earn a seat on the early bus? Good lord wouldn't that be fabulous? If Danny Gokey went home. No more Danny Gokey. Simon could no longer make passes at squirming fish who wear glasses.

By Richard Lawson Lil was safe. She yelled "Hallelujah!", and it was off-key. So poor Moaning Mattle was the ousted. The dejected and the scorned. But what was this triumphant feeling in the air? What was this hum and shrill when he sang his stupid Bryan Adams song for ladies? Kara and Paula just didn't care who kn...

By Richard Lawson Basically the Vote for the Worst folks. Reality singing competition versions of lulz-seeking inter-trolls. But the truth is that, beneath the snickering hater, lies a sad Chillable Red-soaked secret: These people still watch American Idol every week and feel some swell of pride whenev...

By Richard Lawson Back in the swirling hope den that is the Idol theater, it was time to announce the bottom three. Predictably Adam and Gokey and Matt were safe. Surprise, DialIdol, but Krissy was also safe too. As was, glory be!, dear old Allison. Which meant that for once America got all three people in the bott...

By Richard Lawson Everyone loved Matt Giraud, but I found it to be as soulless and uninteresting and vaguely arrogant as all of his other forgettable performances. So, I'd like to see him go home now. Though, most likely, they'll just bring Megan Joy back and eliminate her again. Caw!

By Richard Lawson Megan Joy. Correct. When Megan Joy found out that she was in the bottom three, she did some weirdo trying to poke fun at herself Caw-Caw bird thing that was just off-putting. All the other Irdol kids did too! Oh well. And by "this" I kinda wish I meant American Idol. But I don't.

By Richard Yeah. Some songs were contemporary, like Matt Giraud's cover of a Fray song and Anoop's Urrrsher pastiche, but Adam Lambert, Scott Whosie, Lil Rounds, Kris Allen and Megan Joy all sang old ditties. I don't even know what Gokey sang. Who cares, though.

By Richard Soooo Roughneck was in the bottom three with them, which is just fine. After some more ambling and rambling from Ryan and Carrie Underwood and David Lynch Randy Travis, we got to the meat and potatoes. Allison was safe. And then, sigh, so was Sarver. So Alexis was out! Unless she successfully sa...

By Richard Allison continues, in my mind, to dominate. Worried that her belting might not fit well with fiddles and country zithers, I braced myself for an awkward performance. But it was great! Growly and just backwoods enough. Of course the judges' praise was only mild, as they apparently really don...

By Richard The boy was Kris, the slightly-twanged dude who we barely saw during Hollywood Week and who sang, not terribly well, "Man in the Mirror" last night. Basically felled by nerves and song choice as so many others were last night, Kris looked like he was dead in the water... until Simon said he enjoy...