American Idol

By The Watcher The voters gave Kris Allen the title over Adam Lambert on “American Idol” last spring. Now, record buyers are reversing the results. Kris’ debut is the worst by any Idol winner ever, underperforming even Jordin Sparks. Of course, you can’t read too much into first-week sales. The best Idol-w...

By The Watcher Longtime readers are familiar with the Watcher’s take on “American Idol.” Now, I dip even farther down the ladder of credibility to take on the local ladies of liquor and lip collagen. Tamra’s husband, Simon, flips out. “It’s disgusting,” he says. And being on this show isn’t?

By The Watcher 3. Bring back the funny: The season’s cast might fulfill the standard “DWTS” requirements – NFL star, other athletes, former boy-band idol, mid-rank pop stars, models, small-name actors – but it fails in terms of characters. It’s time to stop casting contestants for their routes to fame (...

By The Watcher After all, this is “American Idol.” Ryan then turns to the people whose actions have been the subject of much discussion the past couple of weeks: the judges. They’re all here: Randy Jackson, Karandy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.

By The Watcher And this is “American Idol.” Ryan runs down the business at hand tonight. Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson will sing and the Top Seven will be tortured. No one is going home tonight! As Simon points out, two contestants will be booted next week. And the theme? Disco.

By The Watcher Is Simon really quitting after next season? This is “American Idol.” Ryan tells us that tonight will be “an historic evening.” We yawn – but it turns out he’s right! Rankings 1. Kris, A- 2. M. Flambert, B 3. Anoop, B- 4. Pebbles, C+ 5. Danny, C 6. Lee-uhl, C- 7. Ma-a-a-t-t-t, C-

By The Watcher This is “American Idol.” So far this season, we’ve seen the champions of seasons 1, 2, 4 and 7. Year 5 is represented not by winner Taylor Hicks, nor even Chris Daughtry, Katherine McPhee nor Elliott Yamin, but by the season’s laughingstock. And now, Scott MacIntyre is going home.

By The Watcher This is “American Idol.” We’re about to find out. Let’s sing. Ryan interviews Allison afterward, and once again she is tongue-tied. Allison, don’t speak RANKINGS 1. Kris, A 2. M. Flambert B+ 3. Red, B 4. Ma-a-a-t-t-t, B 5. Danny, B- 6. Little, B- 7. Anoop, C+ 8. Scott C 9. Ethel C-