Harvard University

By Brice Reynolds Bingo. Why would you do that? Seriously, dude, burning down a cemetery/memorial is not a funny prank. This is a somewhat funny, Ivy League prank. But let’s go on the record and just say stop trying, Ivy League-rs. Or you will lose your job and your six-figure salary. Like Brian did.

By Brice Reynolds THIS HAPPENED TWO MONTHS AGO. Not only did Harvard instruct the victims to keep the incident a secret, but both the Boston Police and Harvard Police are apparently holding off on investigating it until now. The obvious Yale parallel after the jump.

By Max Wasserman Holds (insanely huge) bragging rights (for decades to come) over: Princeton 2. Penn 3. Brown 4. Dartmouth Holds bragging rights over: Harvard 5. Harvard Holds bragging rights over: Yale 6. Yale Holds bragging rights over: Cornell 7. Cornell 8. Princeton

By Qichen Zhang We’re really shocked he’s still single. But for Ivy alumni hoping to end their subscriptions to Match.com, a word of warning–beware of infiltrators. At one event, after University of Illinois graduate tried to woo some women with his resume, he immediately got called out by a friend:

By Max Wasserman Brown: Recent alums make millions playing poker, prove that college is pointless Columbia: People bring their pets to church Sunday, fail to realize that all animals are deeply into Wicca Cornell: Yep, you’re way too boring for us, especially your name, Block. How more boring could you b...

By Max Wasserman Despite Cornell’s current success, Harvard is still the big favorite to win the Ivy League football title and the no trip to the playoffs that comes with it. The Crimson have more votes than Cornell in the latest FCS poll despite an opening game loss to a ranked Holy Cross team. The only reason...

By Max Wasserman Columbia: Nepal’s prime minister delivers address, attendees distracted by his funny hat Cornell: Collegetown traffic light to be replaced, students to petition against the invasion of evil traffic signal corporations Dartmouth: Green buildings actually closer to chartreuse Ha...

By Max Wasserman Brown: Class of ‘08 alum to orchestrate numerous crushing election losses in the coming years Columbia: Finnish Presidents speaks at Columbia, students disappointed to learn it’s not the one that looks like Conan O’Brien Cornell: CIT to add Microsoft e-mail option for those who think...

By Max Wasserman Secondly, a “college town” is defined in this instance as a metropolitan area with a population of under 250,000 people. There were four categories in total, with the other four consisting of metropolitan areas with over 250,000 people, over 1 million people, and over 2.5 million people. I...

By Qichen Zhang The girls who brought us the Harvard douchebag contest have extended their reach beyond Cambridge. Yesterday, Windsor Hanger ‘10, Stephanie Kaplan ‘10, and Annie Wang ‘11 of Harvard’s Freeze College Magazine launched their new “collegiette’s guide” called Her Campus, setting a new p...

By Qichen Zhang Harvard Medical School recently announced that it would loosen its restrictive policies regarding student-media interaction. Called “ill-advised” and “problematic” by Harvard professors themselves, the old policy stated:

By Adam Clark Estes Harvey Cox, Hollis Professor Emeritus of Divinity, exercised his 300 year-old right to graze his cow in Harvard Yard yesterday. The Hollis chair, first held by Edward Wigglesworth in 1722, is the oldest endowed professorship in the country, and the perks match the needs of 18th century H...

By Max Wasserman College rankings are generally quite zany, but this year’s lists have taken ridiculousness to a new level. We’ve seen the Princeton Review name Columbia as topping the list of the best college towns–with Barnard coming in third despite being located three yards away. We’ve seen Forbes ra...

By Molly Fitzpatrick Stay tuned for the next installment——matching a sorely disadvantaged African-American with unwelcoming WASPs is one historically demonstrated to cause hilarious tension. We wish Khadijah the best at Harvard, at least until the Cambridge Police arrest her for trying to get into her o...

By Adam Clark Estes Seriously, the First Amendment is awesome, but would the Crimson might as well run a full page for the Imperial Klans of America on that campus. (Yeah, that’s the real link. I’m on some sort of list now I think. Fuck you, Harvard Crimson Business Board for making me reckon with freedom of speech...

By Qichen Zhang Notable Ivy League mentions are Harvard and Yale, apparently from which “creative hacks” and “intelligent black men” graduate. It remains unclear whether or not they lose their superhero status once they lose their jobs and start giving eye BJs.

By Michael E van Landingham Judd seems to be nervous about people remembering her in gems like The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Eye of the Beholder, because she’s requested Harvard take additional steps to protect her privacy as a student. MPA program director Robin Engel sent out an e-mail last month d...

By Qichen Zhang Turns out all that tuition money Harvard kids shell out is for naught after all. Christian Flow, Harvard ‘10, recently wrote an article for Harvard Magazine on the university’s apparent lackadaisical attitude at giving students an actual education. Based on a personal episode of academ...

By Adam Clark Estes 4. Harvard Home of: The Harvard Douche In ten years, will be: A Harvard douche. 3. Princeton Home of: The Eating-Club Douche Honorable-mention eating-club institutions: A basketball school in Durham, a university in New Haven, a college in Cambridge.

By Robyn Schneider And, in essence, the plot itself is flip-cup played on mahogany—McDonell writes of a silly game made dangerous by money, power and connections. He writes of Harvard in a way that only a recent graduate can, and he writes well.  If you’re looking for a fast, engaging read for the train or plane...

By Michael E van Landingham He neglected to mention our other friends Brown, Columbia, and Cornell, but that doesn’t mean they’re not in the 10. Or does it? The rankings are determined by a mix of SAT scores, peer reputation, selectivity, alumni giving, reading chicken entrails, and phrenology.

By Qichen Zhang On Wednesday night, Jon Stewart lampooned the MBA Oath established by a group of second-year students at Harvard Business School. Earlier, the Harvard Crimson reported that as a result of the financial apocalypse, Maxwell Anderson, now an HBA graduate, had drafted a Boy Scout-esque pl...

By Qichen Zhang You can label Lena Chen according to sex toy references all day long, but now she’s going for something new: Donna Reed. The Ivy League’s semi-retired sex blogger and current domestic goddess wannabe recently wrote about her new foray into the culinary arts in a “postcard from abroad” for...

By Qichen Zhang You know Harvard’s broke when they start competing with Hollister. The country’s oldest college recently announced a fancy men’s fashion line in partnership with clothing manufacturer Wearwolf Group in a ten-year licensing deal. Harvard recently started trademarking everything on...

By Max Wasserman So there you have it. Princeton is not number 1, Williams is better than Harvard, Amherst is better than Yale, and Cornell couldn’t even crack the top 200. Well, that about wraps it up for the Ivy League. It’s completely dead now. Good thing we’re getting out. I feel sorry for whoever is taking ove...

By Max Wasserman Harvard University is the biggest name in higher education. Harvard University is also flat broke. Putting the two together, Harvard has come up with a way to make easy money: by trademarking phrases and images associated with the University. Of course, nearly every university trademark...

By Michael E van Landingham Copney recently pled not guilty to all five charges he is facing in connection with the death of alleged Cambridge drug dealer Justin Cosby, who died shortly after what the Middlesex DA described as a failed drug robbery.  The other two suspects are in New York jail awaiting extradition. Ca...

By Max Wasserman Columbia: Judge temporarily reinstates all-Columbia New York State executive branch power bloc Cornell: Reassignment of Ujamaa Residence Hall RHD the closest Cornell will ever get to its own Skip Gates scandal Dartmouth: President Kim gives speech, tells students to focus on the “t...

By Max Wasserman Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., one of the nation’s pre-eminent African-American scholars, was arrested Thursday afternoon at his home by Cambridge police investigating a possible break-in. The incident raised concerns among some Harvard faculty that Gates was a victim of r...

By Max Wasserman On Friday, top presidential economic advisor and Harvard ruiner Larry Summers said that the economy is improving. It’s a bold statement to make in the current climate. But Larry Summers had justification for his brave conclusion, according to the Associated Press:

By Max Wasserman We know that Ivy League students can utter idiotic statements. And the posted incidents (or interncidents) are quite ridiculous, such as thinking the U.S. Capitol is the White House and expecting Starbucks to make his coffee orders gratis. But as of today, only one anecdote lists the offen...

By Max Wasserman Columbia: In just plain awful news, Iran detains a Columbia Ph.D. studentDartmouth: Police arrest boyfriend ‘09 and girlfriend ‘11 for possession of illegal drugsHarvard: Budget cuts hit where it hurts most: in the genital wartsPenn: Basketball player Zach Rosen to represent USA at Ma...

By Michael E van Landingham The next manager, Mohamed El-Erian managed the endowment well, but quit after only two years. According to Munk’s sources, Harvard hated El-Erian super lots because he was an outlander. Thanks to Larry Summers, who ordered building after building, a new campus across the Charles in Alls...

By Max Wasserman Because this is just speculation, Jacobson can write whatever he wants without any sort of proof or justification or logic. He can say that in her first six months as President, Sarah Palin would have fixed the economy, reduced the national deficit, sent Optimus Prime to kill Mahmoud Ahma...

By Michael E van Landingham It’s not surprising that 70 percent of Supreme Court Justices seated since 1950 attended some Ivy League institution—Harvard and Yale have the best law schools in the country. When George W. Bush had to make up for the embarrassment that was Harriet Miers, he went with Samuel Alito, a gradu...

By Max Wasserman Courtesy of the Washington City Paper’s Sexist blog (yes, that’s its name) comes this look back at life in Cambridge at the turn of last century. A New York Times article from July 1900 titled “The Cubans at Harvard” is not about the school’s new smoking club, but a large group of Cuban girls s...

By Max Wasserman Whether Emma Watson is truly “incredibly academic” or just really devoted to method acting in playing Hermione Granger, she aced her A-levels. That plus $4.5 billion worldwide gross is more than enough for her to get in at Cambridge, so it’s unlikely that Harvard and Yale would have reject...

By Max Wasserman Columbia: Lerner Hall will no longer be open 24/7 due to the economy, but you can still look inside anytime from anywhere Cornell: Former Cornell star goalie Dave McKee has been charged with rape in southern California, Kobe Bryant not returning his calls Dartmouth: The reign of Jim Yong...

By Michael E van Landingham This site is launched even as getting financial aid at Harvard becomes easier and easier. Currently they offer free tuition to children of families making under $60,000 a year, an amount above both American median and average household incomes. And the average Harvard student only carri...

By Max Wasserman “[There was] the tour of a certain Ivy League campus wherein a certain B-rate comedian turned almost-senator (and alumnus of said institution) huffed, sighed, squatted, and wisecracked his way through said tour—to his son’s chagrin, and everyone else’s disgust.” — a 2007 Yale alumnu...

By Max Wasserman My name is Michael E. van Landingham. While I’m not the Ivy League legacy my name may suggest, I’m pretty into the pan-Ivyism. I graduated from Princeton in 2008 and am getting a Master’s from Harvard right nowish. As an alumnus, I bring a unique perspective of “things were better in my day” p...

By Adam Clark Estes 1. Dartmouth Students Jump to Racist Conclusions About New President: 12,000 views for the we-hate-Asians response from a student humor group after the election of Jim Yong Kim to Dartmouth’s highest office.2. How To Get Into An Ivy League School: A Step-by-Step Guide Featuring Testimon...

By Adam Clark Estes The recent shooting on Harvard’s campus stinks like a drug deal gone bad, and there are text messages to prove it. A recent article in the Crimson, who have actually been kind of awesome in covering the scoop, details how text messages recovered from victim Justin Cosby’s phone threw up som...

By Adam Clark Estes Before the sound of the TV news ‘copters faded after the shooting at Harvard today, another student got almost stabbed outside of the Crimson building. The victim of the shooting was not a Harvard student, it turns out, but the knifepoint mugging victim definitely was. Already a day full of...

By Maureen O'Connor File this under most terrible coincidence possible: An unidentified “college-aged” male was shot at Harvard’s Kirkland House, an undergraduate residential college, around 5PM today, reports the Harvard Crimson. The victim was conscious but bleeding at the time of the Crimson’s rep...

By Max Wasserman Harvard Law graduate and Cornell professor William Jacobson is a member of an exclusive club, as he is one of the few arch-conservatives to make a home in Ithaca. Before this week, Jacobson was one of the lesser-known members of this group that also consists of Ann Coulter and the blind guy s...

By Adam Clark Estes Today, Cary Tennis from Salon.com got sarcastic with a boo-hooey Harvard grad, “Stalled,” who asked the advice columnist how to move out of his parents house and find a job. In the original letter, the forlorn almost 25 year-old film major whined about not having any friends, not being good...

By Adam Clark Estes The Harvard-Radcliffe TV station has changed call letters from HRTV to HUTV and changed its tone from soap opera to silly. Besides abandoning their Seven-Sisters roots, the HUTV site also appears to have abandoned any attempt at serious television. But this video of Stephen Pinker–know...

By James Yu If we had to hazard a guess, we’d say the general rise in applications to the Ivy League may be owed in part to its constituents’ sizable endowments and commitment to need-blind financial aid; in marked contrast, several other selective colleges and universities - including Colby and Ob...

By Lingbo Li The Crimson published an editorial last week criticizing the German government for scapegoating violent video games in order to explain a school shooting in Winnenden, Germany that killed 15. The paper’s pro-Halo stance was supported by a recent study that playing shoot-em-up games a...

By Adam Clark Estes Given the sexy recession and first ever edition of the IvyGate Guide to Admissions, this year’s admissions decisions should continue to be record-breaking. Don’t be scared. It’s like this every year. What makes matters just a bit unique is the fact that Harvard is basically giving free rid...

By Max Wasserman 4. Princeton Only two Ivy League schools have men’s volleyball teams, so congratulations to Princeton on winning the Ivy League title this weekend, I guess. Up next for the Tigers are games against more traditional men’s volleyball powers, like NYU and Springfield College. 6. Harvard

By Alex Howe Tonight, the audience of a free student showing of Watchmen in Cambridge erupted in applause at a line sort of did deliver: “Let’s see those bastards at Harvard figure a way out of that one.” Oh crap, it’s coming true. The movie is f’ing long, almost an hour per upcoming year of recession to com...

By Max Wasserman The Cornell students at the Daily Sun had their “Big Red Claim 2nd Consecutive Ivy League Men’s Basketball Title” stories ready on Saturday afternoon. Then Harvard had to go and ruin everything by beating the Big Red by 1. Last year, Cornell beat Harvard by 1 when the Crimson players committ...

By Adam Clark Estes ’s Guide to Admissions: Part IV Somewhere between F. Scott Fitzgerald’s untimely death and that Tom Green movie about Harvard, some misconceptions of the awesome Ivy League education have spiraled out of control. First of all, the classes are not that difficult—seriously. And if you don’...

By Adam Clark Estes After the jump: skipping class, going nuts, and graduating happy! Plus, hating the Ivy League, leaving, and coming back by novelist Andrea Seigel. So get out while you can! And apply for grants while you’re gone, because the Ivy League has a dangerous amount of money.

By Adam Clark Estes The University Council for everyone’s favorite self-important student body is currently electing a new president. With polls closing in just 36 hours, Harvard students (apathetic and otherwise) will surely end up with either a prank or a prodigal in office.  Ultimately, it doesn’t rea...

By Adam Clark Estes The Crimson endorsement has been the kiss-of-death in the past two elections.  So take to the polls and make it a hat trick, Cantabs.  Harvard could use a Hapsburgian prince these days, after all. The University Council for everyone’s favorite self-important student body is currently ele...

By Adam Clark Estes IG: Max, you’re in New York right now? Max: Yessir. IG: And D.A., Wisconsin? IG: Yeah, I bet. DA: Yeah, they’re kinky. DA: Oh, yeah. DA: I think that’s just the Ivy League thing. I don’t think that anyone would genuinely say we sound like them at all.

By Nina Shield Congratulations, Columbia! Never again must you covet from afar Harvard’s Matt DiPasquale and his low-budge porn magazine: it’s only homegrown smut from now on. Editor-In-Chief Hoang Jessica Tang (C’09) introduces C-spot as “a new erotic review produced by Columbia University stud...

By Dan Haley Oh, of course not. Luckily the Lampoon has no social criteria for joining. It’s all anonymous submissions. You don’t know who you’ve let on staff until they’re there. Which is a miracle because if they had any kind of social element to their try-out process nobody would get in. When I was at the La...

By Maureen O'Connor Saw her walking around with one of the head tour guides, and now she’s in the admissions office having an interview. Once I muster the courage (read: creepyness), I’ll take pictures from the bushes or save her from being run over by a bus or something.

By Robyn Schneider Meet DYE, the Dartmouth Yale Enthusiasts, who, according to a recent email they sent to fellow Dartmouth students, “is a group of aspiring Yale undergraduates, providing support to one another during our (hopefully brief) intermediary period here at Dartmouth. We provide transfer ap...

By Juli Min What would you do if one day you were walking along Harvard Yard and suddenly came upon THE MEMBER’S MANUAL OF THE OWL CLUB FOR MEN??!! (For those of you who don’t know, the Owl Club is one of eight final clubs at Harvard, boasting exclusive all-male membership, vast alumni connections, and...

By Dan Haley According to The Harvard Crimson, this review was formed in response to an incident where university police stopped a young African-American man using tools to remove a lock from a bicycle. After a conversation “laced with obscenities,” the police learned the young man was the owner of t...

By James Yu Ouch. Maybe Forbes has a point about the attention liberal arts colleges can provide their students, and about certain schools floating comfortably on their reputations, but saying Dartmouth students “are not particularly happy with the quality of their instruction” smells a bit fis...

By James Yu If we were all given a time machine and a fat envelope from Harvard College, chances are that many of us would take it. Because when it comes down to brand appeal, endowment size, and ability to inspire a tangled matrix of envy and admiration, Harvard is king. But since most of us will never [...]

Bikini Politics, which boasts "the body-politic will never be the same," is run by Harvard grad student Paloma Zepeda. It's not so much a women's issues blog as a news blog in the inflection of women's issues. We all know what that means.