Heather Mills

By Michael K While I was doing research for this important story (because I'm a serious journalist), I found this hot quote from the New York Daily News. Last year, they asked some residents of the Bronx about Heather Mills. Lashawnda Floyd said this: "Yeah, that's the one with one leg or something."

By Michael K NBC Philadelphia shot some very important footage of a mob of cunty turkeys (let's call them Heather Mills, Kate Gosselin, Michael K and Candy Spelling) attacking a woman and her son in their NJ neighborhood. Don't worry, the woman bruised her vocal cords a bit, but other than that, they we...

By Michael K Kate Linder (above) - Kate showed up Heather Mills by finding a way to re-purpose every 80s prom and bridesmaid dress found in the dumpster behind a Salvation Army in the San Fernando Valley. This trick looks like one of Elton John's napkins. Big Bird - The hottest bitch on the carpet. Truth.

By Michael K Last night in Los Angeles, the cunty cuntress of cuntery, Heather Mills, launched her new recycled fashion line called Be@one. Heather should've called her line Be@trash or Be@fug, because her clothes Be@SHIT!! Heather, stick to being a big cunt and leave the designing to the professio...

By Michael K If I should happen to drop dead in the next few seconds, I want the last words I have every typed to be: HEATHER MILLS IS A FUCKING CUNT. ... .......... I'm still alive. Although, I may not be so lucky the next time, because Heather Mills says that anybody who writes shit about her will become worm meat.

By Michael K A few months ago, Heather Mills bought a popular sea kitten restaurant in East Sussex, England and fired all the bitches. Heather queefed that she was going to turn the place into a vegan restaurant. Well, the time has come! Heather opened V-Bites yesterday and the only rotten kipper in the j...

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By Michael K You know Gis went on to say, "And it's totally hot, because I have a baby friend of my own now and I didn't even have to get really fat, smelly and gross. No pregnancy farts for me! And my chocha is tighter and fresher than ever! Yay me!" If my stepmother said this kind of shit, I'd hide her fake leg a...

By Michael K Not only did the staff get fucked, but so did the owner. That's what he thinks anyway. Nick Short, the former owner, said Heather has been to the restaurant at least 20 times. She even came with Paul McCartney before he hated her. Heather told Nick to call her if he was ever interested in selling it....

By Michael K After she finished smashing up the club, she got into a red pick-up truck with Heather Mills in the passenger seat. I'm serious. It took me a few more Sanka swigs to realize that the blonde chick was not Heather. She has the same cunty face and says "hello there" the same way Heather does.

By Michael K This is the second time a publicist crossed OctoMommy off their client list. Her first pr whore couldn't take all the death threats. Victor Munoz, her second spokesbitch, didn't seem to mind the death threats, he just couldn't take the fact that his client doesn't have the sane gene in her wh...

By Michael K This bitch: The cunty Cruella de Stone look isn't working for Heather Mills - Popbytes Douches of Hazard - Hollywood Tuna The gayest painting of our time? - Towleroad Jessica Simpson should take the rest of the century off - Lainey Gossip

By Michael K Simon Cowell's heart is already made of black ice, but he wants to freeze his whole body too when he kicks it - Socialite Life The court room should be cleared of water carafes when Heather Mills steps in - Holy Moly! Josh Kelley is a mega lie-teller - I'm Not Obsessed

By Michael K It brings out the cunt in her eyes! It looks like one of those haircuNts (c-word slip) suburban soccer moms get after a shitty divorce in order to prove to everyone that they are still sexy, fun and ready to live life! Or something like that. Heather's probably hoping Paul McCartney is kickin...

By Michael K Did you really think Amy Wino would get through her St. Lucia vacation without attacking some ho? But I suspect Wino was smart about this one. Wino's spokeswhore told The Sun that there was a little misunderstanding (isn't there always?) between her and some of the guests at the resort. Wino'...

By Michael K Sara Trumble has filed a complaint with an employment tribunal claiming Heather Mills is a cunt to work for and forced her to do a bunch of shit that was beyond her regular duties. Sara said that after Heather's divorce from Paul McCartney, she had to work long hours, blow dry Heather's hair e...

By Michael K The Sun reports that Heather has already burned through $20 million of her $50 million divorce settlement in just seven months. What has she actually been buying? Heather has spent most of her cash on her homes of sin. She reportedly had a $2 million pool put into her England home. She bought a $...

By Michael K Michele told Extra (read this with a lisp), "After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person. Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during whic...

By Michael K Heather Mills promised to donate $20,000 to a disabled mother in Russia to pay for her artificial legs. Of course, the hag never came through. In her recent divorce case, Heather told the judge she needed over $1 million a year for her charitable work.

By Michael K Heather Mills can't take a hint, now can she? People have probably screamed in her face to "go the fuck way," but she won't listen. Heather is in talks to star in the next season of "Celebrity Apprentice." Heather is no stranger to American reality TV. Her ass already lost "Dancing with the Star...

By Michael K Calm down Heather! You still have that enormous diamond ring. Heather Mills went on GMTV this morning to cry...cry....cry.....about how awful her life is. Heather is currently embroiled in a messy divorce from Paul McCartney. Here's what Heather has to boo-hoo about: $3 Million in debt 18 Months of medi...