Jay Leno

By rambodoc NASA & SPACE SPORTS Jay Leno will welcome his replacement host Conan O’Brien as guest on his final Tonight Show Friday. It’s called continuity of political comedy. We’re one of the few countries in the world that can pull off a transition like this without bloodshed. (Argus Hamilton)

By rambodoc The economy is so bad, Nancy Pelosi now saying she was misled by E.F. Hutton. (Jay Leno) AFRICA SPORTS HISTORY According to a Rasmussen poll, when asked if English should be America’s official language, 85 percent of the people said, “Si.” (Jay Leno)

By rambodoc Hollywood is working on a new movie about Chrysler: “Chitty Chitty Bankrupt.” (Jake Novak) Well, actually, other senators are talking about jumping ship as well. There’s talk John McCain may go back to the Federalist Party. (Jay Leno)

By rambodoc LOCAL NEWS SPORTS Gun shots were reportedly fired on the paparazzi after Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and model Gisele Bündchen renewed their wedding vows in Costa Rica on Saturday. Brady had no comment, although witnesses heard someone yell, “Who invited Plaxico?” (Reggie Hayes)

By rambodoc The average American now works to support one spouse, three kids, four banks and two car companies. (Sid Knowles) President Obama is pledging to help the flooded Midwest recover. Though he didn’t explain how his hosting “Saturday Night Live” and guest-voicing on “The Simpsons” would hel...

By rambodoc President Obama went on prime time TV last night and urged the nation to be patient. He said “American Idol” will be back tomorrow. People were mad that the President preempted “American Idol. ” I mean, halfway into the news conference, fans called in and tried to vote him off. (Jay Leno)

By rambodoc BERNIE MADOFF THE CONGRESS THE STATES LOCAL NEWS NASA & SPACE IRAQ & IRAN SPORTS CELEBRITIES Rhianna and Chris Brown are reportedly recording together. Apparently, Chris likes Rhianna because she knows how to keep a beat. (Pedro Bartes)

By rambodoc Last week, an American satellite collided with a Russian satellite over Siberia. And Sarah Palin said she could see the collision from her house. (Jay Leno) Presidents’ Day, of course, the day we honor presidents Washington and Lincoln. And Saturday was, of course, Valentine’s Day, the da...

By rambodoc Last Friday was, of course, Black Friday. And if you had money in the stock market, today is Black Monday. Stock market lost 679 points today. It’s not even a stock — that’s a flea market. That’s what it is now. (Jay Leno) The space shuttle Endeavour landed in California on Sunday. To show you how bad...

By rambodoc John McCain appeared on Saturday Night Live Saturday. He showed up with a flag of truce. From now on when a nominee considers vice presidents he’ll check three times to make sure they don’t have any look-alikes on the cast of Saturday Night Live. (Argus Hamilton)

By rambodoc Today, John McCain campaigned in the Ohio town of Defiance. Next comes Anger, then finally Acceptance. (Jay Leno) Barack Obama’s infomercial last night was called “American Stories.” Amazingly, it was the highest-rated show on NBC last night. NBC is already talking to him about picking it...

By rambodoc Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it’s Chapter 11. (Jay Leno) The miniseries “John Adams” set an Emmy record last night — 13 wins. So a guy from the 1700s is still winning today. That’s good news for John McCain. (Jay Leno)