Nicole Kidman

By Michael K When Nicole Kidman hit the red carpet with Keith Urban at the CMAs the other night, some people made the sign of the cross and hissed at her face. Basically, everyone thought her lips looked like something you'd find swimming in the waters of Lake Karachay (aka the most toxic spot on Earth).

By Michael K In the interview with GQ, Nicky (who probably goes to bed in her oxygen chamber at 9pm each night) wants us to believe that she's done some kinky nasty dirty filthy fetish stuff in the bedroom. Although, to be fair to her, putting Scientology-approved cream on Tommy Girl's ass warts each nig...

By Michael K Here's Nicole Kidman desperately trying to roll her eyes at congress while testifying at "International Violence Against Women: Stories and Solutions" hearing yesterday in DC. Nicole, who is a goodwill ambassador for U.N. Development Fund for Women, admitted that Hollywood contribut...

By Michael K Speaking of frowns, here's Nicole Kidman giving Rachel one for making that absurd statement! Yeah, Nicole is madder than fish grease! Can't you tell? Well, you can tell, because her hair is all Medusa-like. Every time she tries to frown, the pressure makes her hair curl.

By Michael K Nicole should've dragged Keith Urban to the JcPenney salon with her. Keith's mop is only at Stage 2 Kate Gosselin hair. Keith's missing the little beaver ass bush on the top. All he has to do is add that, feed it some kibble and then bask in his own hotness.

By Michael K The other day, I smoked a bowl and was feeling kind of brave, so I decided to watch all 10 million hours of Australia. Hugh Jackman is hotter than a Mother's Circus Animal Cookie baking in the sun, but Nicole...... Nicole..... Her face. It was like watching a piece of wet chalk with a little hatlet on top. Mayb...

By Michael K You know that Carly Simon song? Well, it was really written for Nicole Kidman and not Warren Beatty. You know my idol, Vanity the singer? Prince named her in honor of Nicole. Click here to read the rest of this shit and to see a gallery of how Nicole went from fug to frozen.

By Michael K Sunday Rose probably has more wrinkles on her face than Nicole does. Elle should have just shot a vial of Botox in a green dress. It would've looked like the same shit. I mean, I've seen mannequins who look more life-like. Here's more of the Botox queen and her frozen face in Elle. Nicole actually d...