The Real Housewives of Orange County

"Nobody Messes With My Family" "Date My Ex"

Mon, Jul 21

I'm taking one for the legions of viewers who refuse to watch this spinoff of The Real Housewives of Orange County Nine minutes in, and I need a shower. With bleach. Slade tells these guys that no one messes with his family and Jo is family .With a family member like Slade, who needs enemies? Poor Grayson, sick with brain cancer. Poor abandoned Gavin. Not to mention calling your parents "The Clampetts" to their faces on national tv. Slimy Slade. And what the hell is he wearing? Someone tell him he's too old for the unwashed look.

Four guys show up at Slades supposed home in LA for this trainreck to be introduced to Slade by this pimp named Myia . How Slade has a home is a mystery. Jo's first John is Martin. Slade and Myia watch the date on camera. This guy buys Jo a red dress to wear on the date. Whore much?

A sailor hat arrives from the second John, Michael. He takes her fishing on a boat. How romantic. Decapitating a fish. Fun.

John number three, David, a Louis Vuitton scarf. He takes her for a helicopter ride. He seems as slimy as Slade, so she will probably like him. Slimy doesn't like him, and his clothing gets even grungier.

Nelson is John number four. She meets him at the beach in Malibu. For rock climbing, At least the rocks are real

At the end of the auction, Slade emotes about how he feels. Did i mention that he cannot act?

He asks David to leave.

Pimp Myia announces the elimination. Jo, wearing what looks like a short nightgown, in other words, appropriate dress for a hooker, tells Michael no. Martin, no. She chooses David. For drama...so contrived.

I'm gonna need medication.

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