Tyra Banks

By heart nibbler American Apparel: The Musical! This is the part of the show where you ASK FOR A CAN OF RAID and blame Tyra Banks for putting you in a house with candy lying around the runway as if that won’t attract pests, not go crazy over some damn snail on a window.

By heart nibbler Oh, and Jay: And I thought the Britain’s Next Top Model girls were crazy when they flew to Buenos Aires. Also, Tyra: Pantsuits are a no.  Not for this show, not for your talk show, not for life.  Stop wearing them. Bitch, this is the first Top Model house you’ve stepped in since Cycle 7.  Shut up.

By heart nibbler Serena, unable to live with her Brown-obsessed mother, leaves the apartment she shares with her mother and her mother’s fiancée.  Then, in the story’s fairy tale ending, at least for Serena, Ursula (because she is played by Tyra Banks, and Tyra Banks is a fairy godmother in her own mind) ma...

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By heart nibbler I think this is a reality show and if you are treating this seriously, you need to get off the CW for life. Better. Oh, I see.  If you can do that in front of [pick one: Jay Manuel/J. Alexander/Nigel Barker/Tyra Banks] I’ll also be your BFF forever. Count Barker is not amused.

By heart nibbler Speaking of, I was inspired by this, and I decided to salute some of the young girls out there who are delusional enough to think Tyra Banks is God. Amen. Speaking of God—I mean, God God, not Tyra Banks God—let us focus on Amber. Even if she may or may not have been a hired actress. ENOUGH.

By heart nibbler The obvious choice for Darth Banks would be her spectacular flop “Shake Ya Body.” Another choice would be her hook on “K.O.B.E.” with Kobe Bryant, but I can’t subject you to bad rapping and singing.  Instead I’ll choose the little known classic “Be a Star” from Life-Size. Life-Size is also a movie...

By heart nibbler Inside: the photo finish to a recap of Cycle 4 of Britain’s Next Top Model.  Step in, will you? Like a vanity photo of Tyra Banks that appears before judging for the home audience. Episode 10—Lisa Snowdon tries to be Tyra Banks, is amusing, but still fails

By heart nibbler How could I explain the what the hell factor of Britain’s Next Top Model (let alone Cycle 4)?  It’s like America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 1, Groundhog Cycle, save for the rotating panel of judges, hosts, houses, sets, contestants and challenges.  I’ve compiled a list of what the hell moment...

By heart nibbler Lisa Snowdon has been called the British Tyra Banks.  This does not mean she is Tyra Banks, as Lisa needs more “acting” skills, wigs, makeup and a legion of gay men who think they know fashion but dress like train wrecks themselves to become Tyra Banks.  In what may be the most sadistic sequenc...

By heart nibbler This episode of fail without the Tahlia segments has been brought to you by Jodhi Meares: Just when you think we’ve escaped the bitch, her swimsuit line appears on Tyra’s talk show! Most Bangin’ Body: Aminat Most Likely to be Embarrassed on a “Guess My Race” episode of Tyra: Fo

By heart nibbler First, let’s meet the competitors (and rigged winners) of Who’s Smarter than a Top Model?, sorority girls who obsessively watch ANTM. January 2009, ANTM Obsessed launch party.  Brittany “Bre” Scullark reporting for The Tyra Banks Show: February, The Tyra Banks Show:

By heart nibbler I know that the NY Times article covered it, but RuPaul is channeling Tyra Banks in drag and doing Tyra Banks better than…Tyra Banks.  The opener even featured RuPaul doing a rant similar to Tyra’s scolding of Tiffany (another thing I never agreed with on ANTM).  Another thing I noticed is th...

By heart nibbler Also watch Rock of Love Bus at 11 AM EST on Vh1 instead of casting episodes for ANTM Obsessed on Sundays!  Tyra will thank you for it!        As we all know, Tyra Banks is a noted expert in homosexual relationships, as seen in Cycle 11 of America’s Next Top Model. This?  A full-on lesbian relati...

By heart nibbler File Under: Tyra Banks Is a Bezoomny Cheena Tyra’s still a better photographer than she is judge/host of America’s Next Top Model, govoreet show host and pleading and begging you to watch Stylista. However, this is not Alex DeLarge, my droogies.